NO MORE BORING QUIET TIMES

I’m convinced that the person who coined the term "quiet time" to refer to dedicated time with God was not thinking about helping rambunctious little ones enjoy time with their Father. To my boys, "quiet time" is about as appealing as cleaning their room. Some of you may be blessed with children who genuinely appreciate being quiet, but in case you are not - or, frankly, in case you yourself struggle with the concept - let me introduce a new phrase to your spiritual lexicon:   

SPECIAL GOD TIME.  

You can probably do better and come up with a much more interesting and compelling moniker, but this is what we’ve adopted in our home, and it’s worked just fine for us.    

Somewhere between age 1-2, and even as early as 6-7 months, many children develop the ability to engage in parallel play. Parallel play involves independent play side-by-side another child, without any attempt to influence the other child’s behavior. Essentially, the goal of Special God Time is for the entire family to spend a short amount of time in spiritual parallel play.   

What you are aiming for is that each family member would enjoy time with God. What spiritual practices bring your kids - and you - the greatest amount of joy? Maybe it’s classic “quiet time” activities like reading the Bible and journaling, but maybe it’s something louder and/or more kinesthetic. Little kids may prefer to draw a picture of Jesus, dance to worship music, act out a Bible story with dolls, or create the scene with Legos. Older kids may prefer to pop in some earbuds and listen to some worship music or even a podcast. My mom used to talk about the idea that some spiritual practices are more like vegetables, and others are more like dessert. For Special God Time, go ahead and let your kids eat spiritual dessert.  

As you extend this freedom to your kids, you may discover that you need to allow yourself a similar type of freedom - to think outside the “quiet time” box for your own devotional life. The Westminster Shorter Catechism begins with this question:   

Q:  What is the chief end of [humanity]? 

A:  [Humanity’s] chief end is glorify God and enjoy him forever.  

When was the last time you truly enjoyed God? If the answer is “it’s been a while” or “I’ve never even considered that as a category for my devotional life,” please roll this question around in your mind for a little while: What would eating spiritual dessert look like for you? Now, I’m not saying there isn’t a place for disciplines that feel more like eating vegetables. By specifically targeting areas of resistance or even aversion in us, vegetable disciplines form us in ways that dessert disciplines can’t (e.g. solitude for the extrovert, stillness for the hurried, lament for the pain-avoidant). But have you ever stopped to consider which practices help you to genuinely enjoy God? Think of Special God Time like a lab in which you are free to experiment with new practices, and to model spiritual delight for your kids.  

Just like with parallel play, Special God Time will become easier to facilitate as your children get older and more independent, but there’s no downside in experimenting with the practice as early as you can.    

Here are a few practical tips:    

1 / PICK THE CALMEST TIME OF DAY  

Pick a time that will set you up for success. You know your family best. If bedtime with your little ones is consistently a battle - or, on the other end of the spectrum, if your teens rarely show their faces at breakfast - consider a different time of day to attempt this practice.   

2 / DECIDE ON A TIMEFRAME  

Start small and aim for early wins. Consider starting with just 5 minutes at a time. Older kids can absolutely learn to do this for 20-30 minutes or more, but I suggest gradually easing into this rhythm.

3 / DON'T MICROMANAGE

Do your best to go with the flow. Maybe your child starts off drawing a picture of Jesus but ends up drawing a picture of Mirabel. That’s okay! And if you struggle to believe that playing with blocks or Legos is “spiritual” enough to “count” as Special God Time, I encourage you to chat with Jesus about that. I remember, when trying to get my babies to eat or sleep, it helped to remind myself that I was responsible for giving them the opportunity to do those things, but I could not be responsible for the outcome. The same principle applies here. Over time, as their relationship with Jesus grows, so will their devotional life. The goal is to simply help them enjoy time with Jesus from the get-go.  

So friends, may you and your families find freedom and joy in this practice. And may you confidently lead your kids into the delightful, enjoyable, playful, infinitely creative presence of God.